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This haircut kills fascists

I need to make some changes in my life but it's all so daunting. The work situation sucks. I applied for another position in the firm and got knocked back without even an interview. This speaks volumes for the high regard they hold me in. I'm invisible to these fucking people. I know one of my colleague got an interview and it hurts me to think he might get the post when I have more direct experience than he does.

Health wise things aren't great. My doctor keep running tests but can't find anything. I know he thinks it's stress and work related but that doesn't help me at all. It may be shit, but my life will not improve if I'm unemployed. I have zero confidence I could find something else. My self esteem is pretty low - but you've figured that already. ;)

Writing has been an escape in the past but it's crushing to post to a dying fandom, so that's not giving me any pleasure and I don't have any bunnies I feel like finishing. It feels odd not to have a Xmas fic to be panicking over. I spent four happy years writing the Monster series but now I can't imagine embarking on anything as ambitious. Oh well. Fun while it lasted.

Look at me! look at me!

A pretty to start my day. There was tough competition in that category, I actually thought quite a few were superior to my story. But ha!


It's the one set in the disused underground station, if anyone is interested. Lots of running around the tunnels way before Sherlock did it. And a fat Jonah and the Whale metaphor mainly cos those tunnels look like whale ribs.

In which my weekend takes a nose dive..

I managed to blackout and fall down my stairs this morning. Very odd coming round and wondering why mr C was on the phone and what did he mean 'she fell down the stairs', who did? And look, paramedics and everything and I'm throwing up in an ambulance. Very strange.

ugh. Nothing broken and I've been discharged and home now. I hit my head a couple of places and had a CT scan. No sign of bleeding but clearly I had concussion for several hours. Some Rupert Giles experiences I don't want to share, you know. :)

Saturday, really?

I've stopped remembering hotel room numbers. I just carry their little cards with me and refer to those when asked. I'm lucky if I can remember what floor I'm on half the time. I've become a professional resident, smiling if staff are trying to be nice, but generally I'm head down and taking no shit. There is no pleasure to be had in staying anywhere for work. There are no treats. Just give me the damn key and write down the room number for me.

Don't get me started on trains. Gah. Anymore time spent on trains and I'm going to be qualified to drive one.

Fantastic surprise

Xander touch
I won a pretty at the White Knight Awards. Holy cow, this had just made my day. I'd given up on it and been a bit gloomy over the amount of time I'm now having to spend travelling and washing up in weird hotels. Seriously, Work is badly cutting into my fandom life.

But now I have this beauty and it has really brightened my outlook

I wrote the fic years ago but it's still thrilling to bask in a bit of glory. The Learning Curve I probably ought to tidy it up and put in on sometime.

Congratulations to everyone else too. I'm pleased to recognise a lot of names and great stories on the winner's page.

Ho hum

So in theory, I could go to the Sheffield Comic Con. Points against are that I really dislike the idea of paying money for an artificial 30 seconds of shallow celebrity interaction. Possibly I'm a snob in this. I'm also a little nervous of crowds and hate queuing. This is partly a health objection, and maybe a bit of a snobbish thing too....But. But. But...point in favour of going would be that it's probably my one and only chance to say Hi to Anthony Head, albeit in artificial, shallow, etc, etc context. I dunno.

Not leaving the Giles love

I've been behind on my reading, and it looks like this has coincided with a slump in general in the fandom. It's not my fault, honest. Also, Giles-watchers is undergoing some maintenance as we have a technical problem producing the HTML. It will be back, I just have so many bookmarks I haven't the heart (or time) to produce by hand.

Am working on next Bookends chapter. Is that a consolation? 

I'm back but bleah...

Back from vacation. I have a ton of work emails and, more importantly, fanfic to read. I'm afraid two weeks separation means it will take a while to catch up with SoG and giles-watchers and at the moment I'm feeling flat about the holiday being over and having to go back to work tomorrow.

Have only managed first three episodes of Dominion because sigh fy have locked down the later ones even with spoofing a US IP. My guess is that it will air this side on the pond starting September and I suppose I shouldn't be impatient. 

Hurrah, on vacation

We are heading out in a couple of hours for our two weeks vacation. I've been running on fumes for some weeks now, so really looking forward to the break. Have booked a cabin in some woods for the peace. Slight downside is that I don't think there will be internet connectivity where we are staying, so I may struggle to respond to anyone.

see you in two weeks